Crows Along the Wire by Mark Pugsley

Crows Along the Wire

by Mark Pugsley

my outburst was entirely unfair

you are, you are, my planning friend….  rigid

i made an unplanned suggestion

let’s go see art, paintings about crows during pandemic

the week caught up, putting out effort, wanting my partner’s birthday to be special

that was thursday

friday I suggested the change

text is a poor way to communicate

but when withdrawn, disappointed

i knew they would not come

i raged around the bedroom

fuming in blame

narrow and knotted

combustible

because?

because of what is underneath

let down, abandoned, old bones

tired of holding it all together

a burdened exile, a therapist named this experience

tired of holding my friend

i never told him how let down i had felt

over a year ago

what a weight he had been

what is underneath

hold me, a voice cries

because no one is listening

another short text

anger mingled with embarrassment

still withdrawn, my bad

saturday I went to see the crows

then walked down to the river

listening to birds land upstream

without any reason

a waterbird dove under murky water

i went back to the paintings

a second time

in an empty room

crows along the wire

heard my silent cry